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Showing posts from May, 2014

That's Not a Rat!

Perhaps you have heard a church mouse. But this was no mouse, despite the fact that it was loose in the church. This was a rat. Or, at least, so I thought.  Is that glue on his fur? The infestation was noticed a couple of weeks ago. 3 men with brooms were unable to stop it. An innocent child noticed it on a Wednesday night. Then a lot more children noticed it on a Sunday morning, while it waved its little arms and arrogantly pumped its chest, as if to say, 'Come and get some!' Taking up the challenge, one man stepped up to solve the eliminate the problem. Much to the chagrin of ladies everywhere, 'eliminate' was used like the mafia might use the term. Unfortunately for that one man, he was not just battling a rodent. He was battling the prayers of my 7-year old daughter, lover of all God's creatures, no matter how vermin-like they may be.  I knew we were all in trouble when she named him Frank. Frank the Rat. Tears flowed as I explained why Frank h...

Create Those 'You-Won't-Believe-What-Happened-Next' Moments

I'm a sucker. I'm not proud of it, but it's true. As everybody gets more desperate to have others click on their story links, the measures have become, to put it mildly, manipulative. For example; A guy asked a girl out. What she said will inspire you... An insignificant man started a blog. What he wrote about will shock you... A cat licks itself. What the owner did next will amaze you... The fact is, I click on more of those links than I am willing to admit. Because I want to be amazed and inspired and shocked. Sometimes I want my day to actually be made by one silly video. But what if what I have to offer isn't mind-bendingly awesome? What if what I have to give is just what you need, albeit something simple?  I think I see one such instance from the Bible, in Acts 3. It could have been titled, A guy denies a homeless man some change. What happened next will change how you see life. Pete and John were just headed to church, but you never know what's going...

Ministry Monday: Youth Pastors Are Missionaries?

We have all seen them. They stand out like a sore thumb. But they stand out for a reason.  I am talking about missionaries.  You may have known them before they left for the mission field. You may have even prayed over them in a special service just before they boarded a plane for some distant country and culture. They looked like you, dressed like you, ate at similar restaurants.  But upon their visit back stateside, you are wondering what happened. Guest speaking at your church, you see them wearing clothing native to the mission field. They are teaching yo strange sounding vocabulary and possibly introducing you to new foods.  This is not the same person. They're odd. (Disclaimer: I don't think missionaries are odd. I am saying some people, other than me, might think you're odd. If you're a missionary, don't shoot the messenger. In fact, I know the first missionary who will comment about this post to me.) When missionaries are odd and speak the l...

If I Were Spiderman, I'd Need A Chiropractor

It comes out of nowhere. Actually, that cannot be true. It comes from somewhere. I choose to ignore it likely comes from weakness, lest I feel sorry for myself. So I come up with other possibilities, such as; I was about to break a personal record for bench pressing weight. With spiderman-like reflexes, I saved a mom and baby from near death.  I faced down a ninja in a street fighting competition. All of these could explain why my back is in such great pain. Of course, these scenarios ignore the fact that; I don't have a personal record for bench pressing weight. I have neither spiderman-like reflexes nor a situation which called for them. The only street fighting I have ever done was on the old Nintendo game, Double Dragon. But still, my back hurts. I wish I could explain it to you. It's this pain, not unlike 3 small hobbits decided to jump on me simultaneously from different directions. This has been the cause in the past. No, this time it came during some mundane ...

Blood Doctrine

Here's the description I was given of Blood Doctrine  by Christian Piatt. What would happen if scientists were to take blood samples from ancient relics of Jesus’ crucifixion and extract the DNA in order to create a clone? Filled with action, murder and miracles, Blood Doctrine is a brilliant story that bridges the miracle of modern science and the miracle of the crucifixion of Christ. This sounds like a great book that I would devour and recommend, right? Yeah, ummmmm...no! Let me start with the biggest problem, one I have mentioned here on my blog in the past. Foul language is unnecessary. Especially for Christian authors, the use of bad words very profane language is not only unnecessary, but grasping for shock value to cover up deficits in other areas of the story. See, after the first couple of chapters, I was hopeful of two distinct matters. First, that the aforementioned profanity would stop, or at least slow down. Second, that the plot would be so entirely amazing ...

Ministry Monday: That Was Supposed To Work

Chalk it up to experience, but I usually know what to expect from teens. This isn't to say that I'm never surprised by what they say or do, how they act or feel, but in a general way, I've learned (and re-learned) their culture.  But my job isn't limited to simply working with teens. No, a few years ago my local church decided I would be a good fit to oversee working with jello.  Yes, jello. Jello is wiggly. It's hard to grab. It stains the carpet. It comes in all sort of flavors. Some of you might assume jello is a metaphor for working with the older ladies and helping them plan their mother/daughter teas or ensuring there are different types of salad at the next Missions Brunch.  Nope, jello would refer to a much younger group. Kids. (Insert over-reacting woman's scream right here.) The horror. Perhaps this can be chalked up to my inexperience, but I feel lost with children in a ministry setting. They are a great mystery to me. When one of the...

Let's Review. Who Said, "Follow Me?"

Here's another portion of a recent sermon. I date myself and tie a ribbon on it.  When Jen and I lived in Michigan, pre-children, there was this one time when we were invited to a wedding. Kids, this was before Google maps and GPS and smartphones telling you when and where to turn. We had Mapquest and we liked it. We would print out the directions…on paper. (We were basically one step up from calling our AAA agent and getting a TripTik.) The wedding was a few hours away, so that is what Jen and I did. We printed our map and set out. The directions were not great. Once we got closer, we got turned around. But in a lucky twist, we happened to see Jen’s boss, also heading to the wedding. Jennifer told me to follow her. (My wife is beautiful and intelligent, good with the kids and wonderfully organized (is that how you wanted me to say it, Jen?) She told me following her boss would be easier than stopping at a gas station. I believed her. They turned right. We turned right. They looped...

What Do We Do When We Fail?

2 weeks!?! They let me preach 2 weeks in a row! So I'm continuing to post portions here for those of you who did not benefit from hearing the dulcet tones of my tenor voice.  I have heard it called the biggest failure in Pete's life. It’s not like we don’t have other moments to choose from. This is the guy that cut off a Roman soldier’s ear. Noble, but bad form Peter. Pete was the one who tried to keep Jesus from washing his feet. He tried to set up tents for Moses and Elijah. In other words, he talked when he should have been silent. He walked on water…almost. And let’s not forget that he denied he even knew Jesus..(cough)…three times. Oh, and Jesus once referred to him as the devil. So, go ahead and pick any of Peter’s Greatest Hits and decide which one was his biggest failure. Oh, there’s also another failure recorded in the book of Acts when Peter decided he wanted to only eat kosher, even as God invited him to a meat buffet. Then Paul called out Peter in his letter to the ...

Highly Happy Marriages

I would like to think I do not need to offer an explanation. I would assume that you, my confidants, would understand the reasons without me even giving them. But, since online scuttlebutt is what it is, I will go ahead and offer an explanation before I go any further. My marriage is fine. Actually, my marriage rocks. In fact, if my marriage were to race against your marriage, I would bet on my marriage every time. Not that I'm a betting man. Having said that, let me tell you that I enjoyed reading Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages  by Shaunti Feldhahn. That's right, my wife didn't make me read it. She didn't say I needed to get in touch with my feelings. And when I informed the Mrs. that I was reading this, she didn't go in a corner and curl up in the fetal position until I bought her something shiny. And do you know why? Because my marriage is awesome! However, awesome can always be made even more so. So I read. Shaunti has taken a topic that ...

Get Your Teenager Talking

There are parenting books that help you as you figure out ideas of your own. Then there are parenting books that create the ideas, leaving you more time to actually implement them with your children. In other words, there are parenting books, then there are PARENTING BOOKS! Jonathan McKee has written the latter. He packs this book full of discussion starters, each one complete with a great opening question and followed up with several other questions, so you can keep the conversation going.  But perhaps my favorite part was right at the beginning when McKee shares 5 tips for communicating with your teenager. He shares some simple-to-implement ideas for getting beyond one word answers. As someone who works with teens for a living, I can't tell you how many times I have gone through 5 or 6 questions in less than a minute because they weren't good questions.  This book will not only serve me well in youth ministry, but with 3 kids of my own all getting closer to ...

Now What? -Part 2

I got to preach again recently. I don't know why they keep giving me a microphone. Here's some more of what I shared.  So let’s make sure we’re on the same page. John 20 records the events of the very first Easter Sunday. The actions of the disciples are a bit curious. Here’s the timeline we’re given. · Mary Magdalene shows up at the tomb, to find the stone rolled away. · Mary runs to find Peter and John and shares the news with them. · John outruns Peter to the tomb (Pete would later say John got a head start), where they see the tomb is empty and the burial clothes are folded. (Note to children; even Jesus folded His stuff when getting up from the dead, so perhaps you can make your bed.) · According to John 20:10, after seeing an empty grave, the disciples went home. Of course they did! Maybe it was time for lunch. Jesus will still be resurrected after we eat, right? · Mary stays around and Jesus shows up and tells her about His impending resurre...

Now What?

My next few posts will be portions of my sermons from the past couple of weeks. When the senior pastor is away, the youth pastor doesn't play. He gets to preach! Well, that was a nice story. Jesus loved me. He died for me. He rose from the dead and told the Easter Bunny to leave me some eggs with chocolates in them for me. That was nice. I guess we can relax now until Christmas for the other big story. Or, for the fanatical, we could look ahead to Pentecost Sunday and celebrate the Holy Spirit for a Sunday. We could do that. Not many of us would be so bold as to say that, at least not here inside these walls. I do wonder if we think it. But no, we profess to believe this. We profess God come to Earth, lived, crucified and rose among us, this ultimate of love stories. (And if I just said that last line without you thinking twice about it, then maybe you’re not a Christian, or perhaps you’ve been a Christian for too long. We profess God…come to Earth….lived, crucified and risen.)...

What Do Pastors Do All Week?

I would like to give you an insider's look at what pastors do during the week. I really would. It actually pains me not to be able to do so. Alas, I cannot.  You might wonder why. That I can share. If I were to tell you the secrets of Monday through Saturday as lived by a pastor, then I wouldn't be honored to hear the skepticism is people's voices asking what we do all week, as if the week is just one long hop from communion-filled clouds to soft mounds of Bibles.  I'm not complaining because I know you can relate. You have each had 40+ hour work weeks. There are many weeks where you wonder if you can continue to drag your body in and out and about. Then you have  those  weeks. You know the kind; where big deadlines approach or the corporate heads decide to make an appearance. (If anyone shows this to the superintendent, I  obviously  don't mean him.)  Easter, which we just celebrated last week, can be that kind of week for pastors. Fr...