Rick Nier...Woo!

Jonathan McKee writes about teens, he writes for teens and he does a fantastic job writing to teens. There are countless resources out there for youth ministry and for teens in general.  And if ever there was a bracket challenge to decide who has written the greatest resources for teens, McKee would be the Duke of teen resources. Unless Duke surprisingly got beat. Then he'd be one of the other top teams you'd expect to see in a Final Four.  Wow, that illustration got away from me quick, but here's the point. Jonathan has done his research and he knows how to write and speak so teens, youth leaders, and parents of teens will listen. And you should be listening, because he brings his best every single time. His latest book, The Guy's Guide to Four Battle Every young Man Must Face: A Manual to Overcoming Life's Common Distractions, is another winner.  This one is written directly at teen guys about, you guessed it, four battles every young man (and old ...

As I shared last week , the Nier household has been in full-on celebration mode. The Nier children have completed the first week at schools they didn't think they'd be attending. We are not moving from a house we thought for sure we'd be selling. And my wife is happily getting settled in at her new job. Many congratulations were given (thanks, friends!) but several asked me the inevitable question. So what does this mean for you? Believe me, that is a question I have been asking myself since I first announced I was resigning . And since June, the question has loomed like a large cloud over every one of my days. From certain people, I could hear the questions they were perhaps too afraid to ask out loud. Are you trained to do anything besides play with teens and work one day a week? I write that, tongue planted in cheek, but don't be fooled. I've asked it of myself. What does a guy, who has only ever wanted to be a youth pastor, do when he is no longer a yout...

Because science. That's why. It's the answers parents can give their kids when they don't know the real answer. It's the answer that movies who delve into science fiction can use when they don't know how to get their hero out of the trouble he's found his way into. Because science. But it's not the only way to shut down a debate. I remember coming across a quote from someone who was clearly angry with Christians. He listed all the many things Christians have done wrong throughout history. The crusades, holy killings, and the attempted extinction of people groups in the name of religion. He went on to decry the hypocrites that do whatever they want for six days of the week and then find themselves in church one day of the week. He ended his rant with, ‘but it’s all ok, because Jesus.’ He was very angry. But quite frankly, he summarized the Gospel perfectly. We shouldn’t seek to abuse God’s grace, but all of the wrong things we do can be forgiven and was...

Here you and I are, just starting our day with a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, and people are out there making changes in the way we are governed. And there are other people out there studying the impact it makes on people.  So what changes and what impact are we talking about today? The impact made on high school students when states change the policies about same-sex marriages. You can read the article here for yourself , but here is a summary of their findings; This difference-in-differences analysis of representative data from 47 states found that same-sex marriage policies were associated with a 7% reduction in the proportion of all high school students reporting a suicide attempt within the past year. The effect was concentrated among adolescents who were sexual minorities. Translation: They asked adolescents who would identify as something other than heterosexual if they had attempted suicide before and after the legalization of same-sex marriages.  Please note, that w...

Abraham. Moses. They would be great examples. Joseph, Gideon, Daniel and even Job would be good examples. Although I wouldn't want to compare what I'm going through to Job. Especially when it comes to wives. My wife has never encouraged me to curse God and die. She has threatened to cause me harm, but I'm fairly certain that was because I was acting like one of the kids . I digress. The point is I can direct your attention to plenty of people from history who have heard a command from God and obeyed. What made their obedience impressive was they often had no idea where they were going and what exactly would happen when they got there. Abraham, especially, has been a man of faith I have been thinking about a lot lately. The dude is just living his life, for a long time in one place, just doing his thing. Then he gets a call from God to move. He's given a promise and told to trust. And Abraham does. Now I'm not attempting to put myself on the level of Abraham,...

I couldn't believe it, even as it was happening. We bounced a rubber ball against a bell for an hour. Before you scoff, I believe you've been there yourself. Maybe it was before Netflix was a thing, and there were no Olympics to watch. Perhaps you were bored beyond belief. But all of the sudden you found yourself doing something that should be simple over and over again. Add a twist, and you suddenly find yourself challenged to do something admittedly less than spectacular. I doubt Whaley Ball will ever find its' way into the Olympics. (The game is named after the person at camp whose memorial bell we were using to play the game. Yes, we played on a memorial bell.) I also don't see myself training to get better. But on that last night at camp, teens and leaders worked together to bounce a small rubber ball against a bell. How was this challenging? We couldn't let the ball drop to the ground. And we had to throw the ball again while the sound of the bell still ...

Yes, please! That's the answer to the question of whether every parent should have this book in your hands. It also answers the following questions; Can any and every parent put this book into practice? Will this book give me a renewed focus and energy into my parenting? Will this book give me a few ideas for asking questions? (How about hundreds!) Jonathan McKee has offered up a tool with parents, teens, and all of our busy schedules in mind. Each chapter is concise, full of stories, ideas and lots of good discussion starters.  I'm not exactly sure how he does it, but somehow McKee manages to show his expertise and experience while still making the reader feel like he is just one of us. I'm sure he would say that he IS just one of us.  By sharing his successes and his failures, he opens up the possibilities of what could be happening between parents and their teens. Giving us each hope that today's drama doesn't have to be tomorrow's certai...

If someone were to make a realistic movie based on the book of Judges, no responsible parent would let their teens see it. That's how I started my discussion with my youth group last night. We looked at the life of Samson, a guy with such anger issues, he makes the Incredible Hulk seem rather friendly and docile by comparison, And let me just say how much fun it can be to introduce teens who clearly only think they know the Bible stories. Just telling the story of Samson left so many shocked looks on their faces, and his story is only 4 chapters long. Judges 13-16 if you want to read it yourself . I told the teens over and over again how we all have to make a choice. God vs BAE. For those of you wondering what BAE means, it's slang for before anyone else . We're discussing how each of us has to make a choice to put God before everyone, including the crush and the guy and the date and, yes, even the spouse. BAE gives you a narrow focus where you only have energy for ...

This is something I shared with my youth group recently...because not even a Christmas party is an excuse to stop pursuing teens with the clarion call of Christ.  I found a list of the "must-have" gifts for Christmas for the past 30 years. This is what  http://www.statisticbrain.com/ had to share. In 1983 everyone had to have a cabbage patch doll. In 1985 we just had to have an $18 Pound Puppy. In 1989 American households scrambled to get a new Game Boy, followed by the 1995 Beanie Baby craze, and the 1996 Tickle Me Elmo frenzy. In the ensuing years American consumers knocked themselves out to buy the following top yearly must-have Christmas gifts: a new iPod (2002), A Wii (2006), a Kindle (2010), the Angry Birds Board Game (2011), the Doc McStuffins doll (2013), and the Frozen Sing Along Elsa Doll (2015). Not much over the past 30 years has changed. We’ve proven over and over again that we’ll buy lots of garbage in mass quantities. Except for the serious collecto...

You could call this a portion of a book review, or you could call this my attempt to bring something more scholarly to this space. Either way, it is likely best described as my acknowledgement that I am not the first, such as Sir Isaac Newton recognized when he said “if I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” See, though I know it was not original with me, I began my youth ministry career by repeating that what I do is not about a religion, but about a relationship. At times I imagined it seeped into my brain from some of my youth ministry mentors. But I have been reading In Search of Adolescence: A New Look at an Old Idea by Crystal Kirgiss. Now I see the idea goes back much further. In this book, Crystal battles the idea that adolescence is a modern day construct. Showing how previous generations dealt with the people we know as teenagers, she proves her point well. At one point she quotes John Greene and Solomon Stoddard, a couple of preachers from the e...

I am currently in the middle of a teaching series with my youth group on Romans 8. Wow, does this chapter have a bunch to say. Here's a small taste of something I shared and the scripture that went along with it. Pregnancy is a funny thing. A woman gets pregnant for the first time and she is normally excited. This is a married woman. An unmarried woman gets pregnant and she is cursing and panicking, which is why we save sex for marriage. I digress. A married woman is excited. She can’t wait to tell her friends and family. Then something happens over 9 months. She goes through some changes. In the first trimester she experiences something called morning sickness. She’s puking, she’s sick and it’s not even flu season. In the second trimester, she is beginning to show a baby bump, which means certain clothes don’t fit, but her appetite is back. She has these cravings for certain foods. The husband happily obliges. Then the third trimester shows up. Jabba, I mean, the wife, just wants ...

I can't tell you how many times I have been in front of my youth group and said, 'Yes, I'm talking about sex!' It's not that I always plan to talk about sex. But I'm not one to shy away from the topic either. And every time ( really ) they look at me as if I've just said something naughty. Oh, wait...they do think I've said something naughty. And it's probably because the Church, in general, has often treated sex as a taboo topic. We, the Church in general, could choose to go on like this, stuttering and stammering any time the topic is brought up. Or we could fulfill the subtitle of Jonathan McKee's new book; More Than Just The Talk; Becoming Your Kid's Go-To Person About Sex . Soooo, parents and youth workers, say it with me....seeeeexxxxxx. Now that we've said it, let's talk about McKee's new book. He lays down a solid foundation, explaining very explicitly that sex was God's idea and sex was God's gift. ( Ca...

In my youth ministry, we're discussing the last week of Jesus. We started last night by discussing Jesus' entrance into Jerusalem. Unlike other times when Jesus came into the holy city, this time He was announcing His kingdom. He proclaimed Himself King. And, of course, he did this with much pomp and circumstance by riding in on a....baby donkey? Um....yeah. As he came to the towns of Bethphage and Bethany on the Mount of Olives, he sent two disciples ahead. “Go into that village over there,” he told them. “As you enter it, you will see a young donkey tied there that no one has ever ridden. Untie it and bring it here. If anyone asks, ‘Why are you untying that colt?’ just say, ‘The Lord needs it.’” (By the way, I had my group take parts and act out this scene. Few things are funnier than seeing one teen on the back of another as they play the parts of Jesus and the donkey. I'd like to see a senior pastor try this in Big Church.) Jesus was unexpected when He came to Earth. ...

This is a portion of something I shared with my teens a couple of weeks ago. Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? ~Galatians 1:10 Let me tell you what I see going on. There are a lot of conversations that end with people responding “Oh, that’s cool.” I know you like sports, but I think grown men being paid millions to throw or catch a ball is stupid. “Oh, that’s cool.” I know what most people think, but I think Nickelback had some good music. “Oh, that’s cool.” I am a grown man and I like watching My Little Ponies. “Oh, that’s cool.” I was offended by something a pastor said to me, so I don’t go to church anymore. “Oh, that’s cool.” I think we should all worship goats. “Oh, that’s cool.” Okay, I could keep going. You could tell me things you've heard and we could do this all day. And in our societal attempt to not offend anyone, we might keep responding with “Oh, that’s cool.” But some things aren't cool. There are people out there who want u...

I like my lists. They help keep me organized. Aaaaand, I probably get a bit too much pleasure out of checking things off my lists. But, like I said, they help keep me organized. There's really only one weakness to a list. You do have to look at this list in order for it to remind you. Last week I was preparing to take my youth group on a ski retreat weekend. It was a perfect time to make a list, which I did. But the thing about making a list is that it sometimes helps me to remember more clearly what  I need to accomplish. In this case, I had a packing list. As I was packing, I was visualizing what I had written down. I packed and packed and...never looked at my list. It wasn't until hours later, while driving a noisy bus with even noisier teens that I was feeling I had forgotten something. And that's when it hit me. Snow boots?!? Really...snow boots? I didn't forget extra socks...or a magazine...or a charger for my phone. I didn't neglect to bring sno...

I was recently offered the opportunity to review True Love Project  by Clayton & Sharie King. The subtitle is How the GOSPEL Defines Your Purity , and the Kings do a fantastic job of laying a great foundation. Because we have all heard, and maybe even taught, that purity should be the goal, which means waiting for sex until marriage. But I hope Christians can agree that purity is so much more than that. What I received was 3 separate books. There is the classic book, which could be read by anyone, regardless of which boxes you check when asked about age, beliefs, married or single. The book has follow-up questions after each chapter, lending it to use by a leader in a group setting. Like I said, Clayton and Sharie do a good job laying the foundation on what purity looks like and why it is important. The other two books are more devotional style, one for guys and one for the ladies. I would recommend you get copies of these into the hands of your teens. 40 Days of Pur...

I started a new segment in my youth group meetings called Ask Me Anything. No, the idea is not original with me, but I forget where I stole the idea. Here's how I do it. I have a box in our youth room labeled Ask Me Anything. Next to it is a stack of cards and a couple of pens. Students have been encouraged to literally ask me anything. And they do. From which of my own kids is my favorite to challenging me to perform a handstand, they ask anything. I take some each week and answer them. Many are ridiculous, but some are serious. Those are the questions I am after. I let them do this anonymously so they feel the freedom to ask what's burning on their hearts. If it's anonymous, they don't have to worry about being mocked or ridiculed. We do a lot to practice the safety and welcoming attitude in our youth room. Recently someone asked why bad things happen to good people. We took some time to discuss that, though it could have been a question that was discussed for mon...

This is a portion of something I shared with the teens recently. You still have stuff to learn. So do I. Have you had those conversations with your parents where everything seems fine and then, out of nowhere, you’re in the middle of a lecture? You know, you’re all laughing, perhaps playing a game, when the conversation takes a turn. Maybe you’re all laughing and having a good time when your dad says, ‘See, why can’t you always be like this? You’ve had a bad attitude lately and I want you to respect your mother!’ Well, that is a little bit like what this songwriter does here in Psalm 95. “Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the LORD our Maker; for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care. Today, if only you would hear his voice,” ~Psalm 95:6–7 We often use Psalm 95:6-7 as a call to worship. It’s even got a song that we’ve sung. But watch what happens when we continue through verse 8-11. If only you would listen to his voice today...

Sure, it was my idea. But that didn't keep my gag reflex from kicking in. How exactly is it possible to love people and yet be disgusted by the sight of them? An event I call Blo Chunx, that's how. For over a decade now, which is how you make 11 sound bigger, my youth ministry has hosted an event we call Blo Chunx. What began as an idea to contain all the messy youth group games to one super-disgusting night has now become an annual event. Why? It's simple, really. I'll do just about anything to have an opportunity to share Jesus with teenagers. And the first 10 worked well, so we keep doing it. Armed with a dose of creativity, some help from youth ministry ideas sites and a whole lot of spam, we take disgusting games up a notch. When I mention the next one is coming, I get a mixed reaction of gag reflex and anticipation. Here's what made this latest one fun for me. It was the first time I had one of my own children there. Knowing she has always been ...

I am teaching a series on prayer to my youth group this month. Here's part of what I said to them. I want you to know God even better than I know my wife.  Let me tell you what happened the other night. She had a phone call the other day that didn't go well. Once she gave me some details of what happened, I told her why she was upset.  That sounds weird, like why didn't I let her just talk? Seriously Pastor, you don't get enough time to talk? Now you tell other people what they're thinking and feeling? Do you have any useful superpowers? I wanted her to know how much I understood her. After 18 years of marriage, I wanted her to get that when there is no one else in this world who gets her, I get her. I understand.  Whether or not I actually received any awesome husband points, I don't know. Not that I'm worried about that kind of thing. Having someone who you know understands is important. On top of that, having someone you know cares ...