Rick Nier...Woo!

Before you read this story, let me be clear on a couple of things which should be obvious for anyone who knows my family. Sarcasm is a love language. Sympathy is not in abundant supply around here. A few nights ago, I was sharing some wishes with my children for my funeral. I told them I wanted a closed casket, but at the end I wanted the organist to start playing 'Pop Goes the Weasel'. Then I wanted them to look at the faces of everybody as they sat and watched the casket. ( Yes, I saw this joke on Facebook. )  My kids responded that it was as good as done. They even had an idea for a lever that could make the casket open at the appropriate time.  Fast forward to the weekend, where I was dutifully mowing the lawn. Some bees, which must be straight out of the pits of hell, came out of the ground and stung me in both my ankles and my pinky finger.  I left the mower behind, and with much anguish, called out to my wife, who quickly made a paste to take th...

I wear a few different hats at my church. That may be understating things, but suffice it to say I get to know a lot of different people in a lot of different age groups. One of the benefits is the relationships I build with multiple generations and the vantage point from which I can see where our church is at. On any given Sunday, I will have lots of different people that I would like to catch up with as several people that might seek out my attention. Yesterday was one of those days. But I should mention that one of the areas I oversee is that of children. And children will get your attention....ummm...whenever they can. I was leading in our worship service, which will involve leading the singing as well as calling ushers to collect the offering. This year in our church, we have children collecting change for missionaries. So while the ushers are collecting money in an organized fashion, we have about 20 kids running around the sanctuary, shaking people down for their loose c...

I am currently in the middle of a teaching series with my youth group on Romans 8. Wow, does this chapter have a bunch to say. Here's a small taste of something I shared and the scripture that went along with it. Pregnancy is a funny thing. A woman gets pregnant for the first time and she is normally excited. This is a married woman. An unmarried woman gets pregnant and she is cursing and panicking, which is why we save sex for marriage. I digress. A married woman is excited. She can’t wait to tell her friends and family. Then something happens over 9 months. She goes through some changes. In the first trimester she experiences something called morning sickness. She’s puking, she’s sick and it’s not even flu season. In the second trimester, she is beginning to show a baby bump, which means certain clothes don’t fit, but her appetite is back. She has these cravings for certain foods. The husband happily obliges. Then the third trimester shows up. Jabba, I mean, the wife, just wants ...

I am not yet middle-aged. At least, that's what I tell myself. If you double my life, I'll be 20 years from the century mark, which I fully plan on reaching. And while I'd like to think I'll have as much awesome then as I do now, there are probably things I won't be doing. They include, but are not limited to: Exercising. If I make it to 100, I'll treat myself to some days without getting the heart rate up. Eating healthy. All cookies, all the time. You never know when it might be your last. Going to the bathroom just once in the middle of the night. Let's just be realistic here. Working. Except maybe as a Walmart greeter. It could happen. Having more babies. I'm not saying I couldn't. I'm just saying I wouldn't. But there was a guy I read about recently who was having babies at 100, and for him it was a big deal. Reading the story of Abraham and Sarah takes only a relatively few chapters in the book of Genesis. But it stems over 2...

I've said some things to my children which, upon review, sounded pretty stupid. And we've all heard the classic parent answers which require answers we wouldn't enjoy. For instance, 'Do I look stupid to you?'  Seriously, who wants to hear the answer they'd get from a grumpy child? So when I saw a book titled Things I've Said to My Children , I knew this was a must have. Nathan Ripperger has saved and illustrated some of the more odd things he's said to his children. Anyone who isn't a parent won't get this book. They might have it in their possession, but it will be lost on them. But for that club that can only be joined by suffering sleepless nights and crazy trips to the grocery store, as Nathan said, where children lick the grocery carts, this will be a funny read.  Since it's illustrated and filled with short quotes, it's a quick read. Half the fun for me was imagining what was going on in their house that led to se...

I was reading Exodus recently and realized just how different things are for us nowadays than they were for Moses and the Israelites. Let me start with the Israelites... We see God commanding the people to consecrate their firstborn children. Here were their requirements: Make bread without yeast. Get rid of all yeast. All of it.  It was like when your mom would say she didn't want to see any mess in your room. God wanted all things yeasty to be gone. But we're not done yet. All firstborn males had to be redeemed. This was done by sacrificing the firstborn sheep and goats. If you had a donkey, you could switch it for a sheep. But if you didn't, God wanted you snapping the neck of your donkey. I have to wonder if that would cause the other donkeys to lose trust in you. Perhaps they would be a little nervous when they saw you come around again. Nevertheless, this is how the Israelites prepared for worship. A typical Sunday morning for my family looks nothing li...