Rick Nier...Woo!

I'm not sure Jesus has been marketed the right way. He could have been an escape artist or in a Jackie Chan movie, perhaps as an extra for Jackie doing his own moves, no doubt learned from a childhood filled with games of Twister. I suppose that wouldn't work for two reasons; 1. Jackie does his own stunts and, 2. Jesus was not Asian. It's too bad, though, because the gospel writers record several instances of Jesus performing escapes. They don't give a lot of detail as to how He actually escaped, but I have some theories. Here are the top 3. 1. Spin Moves Luke 4:30 "[Jesus] walked right through the crowd and went on his way." I know that Luke said Jesus simply walked, but I picture Luke writing simply, not wanting to talk up Jesus' moves. I picture spin moves. If it were a modern day setting, a private jet or a car chase might work better. In the future, having Scotty beam Jesus up might work as well. But, given the technological disadvantages that Jesus d...

My kids love speaking Spanish. They only know 6 or 7 words, but for some reason it brings them great joy to speak Spanish. When Luke, my 7-year old, was first learning it, he insisted I have conversations with him in Spanish. Here’s how it would go; Luke: Hola! Me: Hola! Como esta? Luke: Y tu? When translated, it looks like this. Luke: Hi! Me: Hi. How are you? Luke: And you? I never said my kids were very good at speaking Spanish. When I pointed out where he went wrong, this only caused him to laugh uncontrollably and do it repeatedly. My children are quite stellar at repeating things, especially when those things are my bad habits. I got to thinking about this because we are on the verge of repeating another round of holidays; Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Christmas and New Year. And while I am not a bah-hum-bug, I don't exactly go running up and down the streets like Jimmy Stewart shouting 'Season's Greetings' to anyone and everyone. Just ask my wife how I react when sh...

No bread? No problem. I recently revisited the story of Jesus playing the role of Bread Boss and feeding thousands. It's really quite an amazing story as you consider not only the miracle but the marketing. This is a whole lotta people seeing Jesus work His wonders. But there are questions that surround this story. I get that Jesus has compassion and wanted to do a nice thing. But how is that so many people went to remote area with no plan for lunch. My wife and I barely cross the street with our kids without plans and supplies for keeping them busy, fed and hydrated. The fact that so many came so unprepared is a bit surprising. Now on to the miracle itself. I think many people think the bread just kept coming out of the basket. But not me. I imagine there was some sort of juggling of the dough in the air and every time Jesus passed another loaf to a disciple, another ball of dough appeared in the air. I believe Jesus was a showman and may have even tossed a few loaves behind His b...

It’s November. And November is synonymous with inducing a coma caused by the tryptophan in turkey (the food, not the country). Or, as we in America call it, Thanksgiving. Ahh, that beautiful holiday when we gather together with family, eat too much, sleep through a Detroit Lions game and then go home. You know about the ride home, right? That is when you share with your spouse how her family bothers you. I have to confess I feel a tad guilty being snarky about Thanksgiving. After all, it is a legit American holiday. Thankfulness is something that is encouraged in the Bible. It’s even the topic of our theme at our church this month (and 90% of other churches as well). Shouldn’t I just write out my list of things I’m thankful for and then move on to writing some devotional for next month’s church newsletter, something along the lines of a great gift of shoes I once gave my mom? Everybody knows that when you're writing about Christmas, you have to include lyrics to at least one inspir...

Mondays are notorious for being bad days. Not for me, mind you. Having a flexible schedule, I take Mondays off. Mondays are in my top 10 for favorite days of the week. I sit at home and catch up on ignored tasks from the previous 6 days. Sometimes I scroll through Facebook and laugh at everyone who is dealing with Monday head on. I think people who talk about a 3-day weekend have it wrong. They always argue that we should work Monday through Thursday and then take Friday through Sunday off. That doesn't make any sense. People don't complain about Fridays. Let the world take Mondays off and watch as the world crisis just handle themselves. Yesterday I was at home (because it was Monday) and my 4-year old suddenly asked (around 10:30) if she was going anywhere. When I told her no, she asked if she was sick. Apparently she's already learned that we have to have a reason to get a day off from the normal crazy schedule. And how is it that crazy schedules have become normal? It s...

Recently I took my family to Shedd Aquarium in Chicago. They have fish and other animals from around the world. Perhaps none were more curious looking than the paddle fish from Malawi, Africa. We also saw dolphins, sea turtles and beluga whales. The beluga whale, as far as I can figure, is the Quasimodo of sea life. Their 'tricks' consisted of swimming between trainers and eating lots of fish. (Great job, Mr. Beluga, you can swim!) It was a good day, but the most interesting thing to me was how the trainers and the caretakers kept referring to the animal's story. Perhaps I am a neanderthal, but I've never considered the story of animals. But they shared with us about turtles who had escaped boating accidents. And of course, they shared how the beluga whales were trained to swim from here to there. Amazing. Now train them to swim back. But it's not just animals that have stories. You have a story. I have a story. (One of my stories involves dinner after being at the ...

I know it's been out for a while, but I like the Snickers commercial with Betty White. You can watch it here . ‘You’re not you when you’re hungry.’ Have you ever been really hungry? I think food is a funny thing. We have to eat. I know some people say that since you have to eat, it may as well taste good. On the other hand, rice and beans seem to keep people alive just as well as steak and lobster. I’m no vegan, but I just think we make a big deal about what we eat. Perhaps the Snickers people are right. Maybe you aren’t you when you’re hungry. John 4 opens with the familiar story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well. I want to skip to the end when Jesus’ disciples come back with food. We’re told that they had stopped because Jesus was tired from the journey. Now the disciples have food and Jesus does not seem interested. "My food is to do the will of God" John 4:34. Food is what energizes us. It is what gives us the ability to go on. Jesus tells us that His food...

I'll admit it. I like to exercise. Plugging in the iPod or watching ESPN to distract myself from what I'm doing and I enjoy it. But I don't love it. I'm not rocking some unitard like Billy Blanks on Tae-Bo or yelling 'You can do it!' a la Tony Little. (That's right, Billy and Tony in the same sentence...gyms around the world just exploded.) I can do it, but I'm not fanatical. There are plenty of mornings when the pillow wins against the gym. While I'm not over the top, I do take my exercise seriously, as you can tell by this picture I've included. People do not believe this is a picture. I have new glasses now, but that's still me. Thus, most people do not realize how large I really am. More often when people see me, the tie I wear has a slimming affect. But I digress. There's another form of exercise that is often hard to see and yet remains vitally important in my life. Here's how the Apostle Paul said it to Timothy; Don't let a...

Separating ourselves as an individual from the group is something we have become too good at. It's something we learn as kids and perfect by the time we want to pass the blame. Today, in a conversation that included sharks, babies, Heaven and unicorns, my four-year-old asks, 'Dad, what time are we picking up the kids?' Well, grab your Barbie purse and your ring of plastic keys, little girl, so we can go get them now. I have also been in conversations with my oldest, now 9 going on 27, when she tells me, quite frankly, that sometimes children bother her. Oh, is that a fact? I guess I forgot that her childhood ended 5 minutes ago. It becomes less amusing when experienced by adults who have this ironic ability to separate ourselves from the larger group we are clearly a part of. Nowhere does this happen more often than the church. And while I would love to have a long list to prove my point, I have but one. And while one may be the loneliest number that you ever saw, it is als...