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Jesus' Spin Move

I'm not sure Jesus has been marketed the right way. He could have been an escape artist or in a Jackie Chan movie, perhaps as an extra for Jackie doing his own moves, no doubt learned from a childhood filled with games of Twister. I suppose that wouldn't work for two reasons; 1. Jackie does his own stunts and, 2. Jesus was not Asian.

It's too bad, though, because the gospel writers record several instances of Jesus performing escapes. They don't give a lot of detail as to how He actually escaped, but I have some theories. Here are the top 3.

1. Spin Moves
Luke 4:30 "[Jesus] walked right through the crowd and went on his way."
I know that Luke said Jesus simply walked, but I picture Luke writing simply, not wanting to talk up Jesus' moves.

I picture spin moves. If it were a modern day setting, a private jet or a car chase might work better. In the future, having Scotty beam Jesus up might work as well.

But, given the technological disadvantages that Jesus dealt with, I simply picture the spin move. It's simple, you fake left, then spin right. Voila! Escape!

2. Hide & Seek Jesus
John 8:59 "At this they picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus hid himself, slipping away from the temple grounds."

If Jesus were one of the early actors depicting Jesus, I'd see no problem here. You know, the actors who looked like they were still fasting in the desert. But I imagine Jesus was a bit more buff than a 7-year old, so this hiding was a bit more complicated for Him. It's also more difficult since the people wanting to stone Him are not going to close their eyes and count to 100 while He hides.

I picture more fancy footwork, except, instead of ending with a slam dunk, MJ style, He simply dove behind a cactus...or maybe a disciple? Peter was a big guy, right?

3. Jedi Mind Tricks
John 7:44 "Some wanted to seize him, but no one laid a hand on him."

This one Jesus picked up from Yoda. I think there's a whole story hidden within verse 44.See, the people had been arguing about whether Jesus was the Christ or not. The Pharisees sent some Temple Guards to arrest Jesus. The Temple Guards come along in the middle of a big debate. While the people participate in a rousing rendition of 'Yes He is!', 'No, he's not!', Jesus went all Obi-wan Kenobi on the Guard, using the Force and putting thoughts in their heads as if they were Storm Troopers. (Ah, Stars Wars reference complete.)

The Temple Guard returned to the Pharisees empty-handed and Jesus went on His way.

So what can we learn from these escape moves of Jesus? Well, I think we can agree that when all hope seems lost, God finds a way.
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Comments

Stevan said…
Rickster. Funny stuff, brother. Hope you're doing well!
November 30, 2010 at 10:08 AM
Rick Nier said…
Thanks Stevan, I am doing well. We miss you around here, but I hope you're doing well on the Dark Side of senior pastor ministry. Hey, look, it's another Star Wars reference.
November 30, 2010 at 10:42 AM
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