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I Don't Feel a Day Over 600

The other day I read about how Adam and those first few generations lived until they were in their 900's. Besides the fact that it sounds like there would have been multiple generations of grumpy old men telling us how much better it was in their day, I think the idea kind of intrigues me. I mean, there was so much time. How would having all that time change the dynamics of life and aging?

This is how I think life would be different if old people were those in their 800's, and not those in their 80's.

1. 20-somethings living with their parents would not be looked down upon. Heck, you could probably live in your parent's basement until you were 300 before people really started to question it.

2. No girl would look down on any guy for not wanting children until his mid-200's. So we'll only have 700 years to build a good father-son relationship. I think we'll find the time.

3. Settling down and having a family may not happen all that quick, because let's face it, if you've only been dating for 50 years, how well do you really know each other.

4. 500 is the new 400.

5. When 100 year olds start spouting off about how much experience they have in life and how they are experts at everything, I believe a line of 600 year olds would form as they start beating the young whipper-snapper with their canes. They could simply say, 'Come talk to me when you're 400', but let's face it, 600 years is a long time to get really grumpy.

6. Guy would have their mid-life crisis around 450. This could possibly mean checking out younger ladies, you know, those girls who are only 200 and still looking fine. At the very least it means quitting the job you've had for 375 years. Honestly, if you're still middle-management at this point, no promotion is coming.

7. Brett Favre could have played football for another 300 years, but he'd always leave us wondering if he was coming back until the second week of training camp.

8. Unless you bring in Cake Boss to make great-great-great-grandpa's cake, you may want to think twice about putting a candle for every year on his cake. Perhaps just icing on the number will have to do this year.

9. When a 900 year old says they have seen it all, you believe them.

I'll leave #10 for you to fill in. What difference do you think we'de see in lives that last until 900?

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