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Type-A Praying

I'm Type-A. I've only recently come to accept that, even though people have been calling me that for a while. For awhile I assumed that the 'A' in Type-A stood for Awesome. So I was pretty stoked when people would gawk at me and ask me if I realized how Type-A I was. I'd puff out my chest, pause for dramatic effect, then humbly respond, 'That's what they tell me."

But then I found out that's not what the 'A' stands for. (By the way, it also doesn't stand for arrogant, although I've been accused of that as well.) Type-A is for people who like order. While my life does not always glow with nuclear levels of organization, I do enjoy having a list to check off each day.

I hit the general areas of order pretty well. My movies and music are all stored in alphabetical order. The books in my office are arranged topically. Even my strategy for keeping clothing neat and folded has an order to it.

But what I have come to realize is that as much as I love the order behind it all, it's not the order I'm in love with. It's this desire to be prepared no matter the circumstances. I want to be able to hand a DC Talk cd to anyone who asks to see it just by glancing to the D's in my cd collection. Do you want to watch a superhero movie? I have them all together, next to chick flicks. (It's a his and hers situation at my house.) If I need to get dressed in the dark, I can do that too because blue shirts go with blue shirts and black shirts go with black shirts. Add a pair of jeans and I'm good to go.

I've even attempted to do this with my prayer life. I have a daily list of reminders. It's a general list. It doesn't limit what I can pray for that day. Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but I only pray for health on Thursdays. Mainly it just provides focus.

Of all my lists it is the most unsatisfying. Keep in mind the list itself is not a comfort, like some long lost blankie that smells of the child's first five years of life experiences. I want to be prepared. I want to be able to send up prayers that will thwart any impending danger or looming trial. I know they're out there.

Have you ever had someone ask you what you would ask for if you could ask God for anything? I would ask for knowledge. Foreknowledge. I want to know what is coming so I can pray for it. But life is not like that. If it were, Pharaoh might have said different things to Moses during those plagues.

Remember when he told Moses it was ok if the frogs hung around for another day? I think if he knew then that 8 more plagues were coming he might have answered differently. Take the frogs away and keep away any gnats, flies, darkness and killing of firstborn children.

If I knew today what was coming tomorrow, I'd have a better idea of how to pray specifically. But I don't. In the end it's probably a good thing. For now I'll keep making lists and asking God to take care of the rest.

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