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It's So Quiet I Can Hear Myself Think

Quiet.

It's been so quiet.

For someone who has been in youth ministry for almost 20 years, quiet is not something I am accustomed to. Not at work and not even at home. Because, oh yeah, my own children are exceptional at being loud. Even when I am alone with just one of them, I sometimes have to remind them that I'm not deaf yet....despite growing up on 80's rock.

Low-talkers my family is not.

So you'll forgive me if I tell you that peace and quiet is not something I have experienced a lot of. And now that it has been exceptionally quiet, I'll admit I'm not sure it's always peaceful.

See, I ask a lot of questions in conversations. This is a habit people down't always admire in me. Just ask my teenage daughter, who is simply trying to tell me a little story. But I want the details! Which friend made the comment? What did their face look like when they said that? Where were you standing?

It's also how I read the Bible. I read these stories and I want to know what happens in between the verses. You know, what are the little details in between the details they give us? Because sometimes those little details can actually be big details.

I remain in the middle of this journey with God, much like each one of you. My jobless summer adventure continues. It's not that I haven't seen God work. In some amazing ways even. Don't get me wrong. I am very thankful for how God has provided and I have seen Him getting stuff done.

And yet...

It's been so quiet I can hear myself think. That's not a complaint you hear from very many fathers. But I have had time and space to think. And ask questions.

Why now?
Why this adventure?
Why me?
Why reveal only part of the plan at a time?

I introspect, with one eye on what I can learn from this entire process, and one eye on the finish line. And I don't even mean the super spiritual finish line, as if I've finished the race. As if!

I want to spy the line that starts the next part of my life. I want to see this adventure end.

But perhaps that is part of my problem. If I see this particular adventure end, will I come to believe that I have learned that lesson and can move on? Will I set these lessons aside, like a book I've just finished, only to select the next reading material, forgetting what I've just read.

God knows me best and He knows the potential for all of that to happen. Perhaps God has me right where He wants me. Perhaps it's quiet so I can learn the lesson. Maybe even until I learn the lesson.

I'm listening God.

So the quiet continues.

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