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It's Not A Crisis

I have been thinking about the differences between motorcycles and moped recently. This is because I purchased one. Which one will be revealed as you read on. Here are the differences I thought of.

When you buy a motorcycle you also purchase a leather jacket and a helmet, preferably one with flames on it.
When you buy a moped your wife laughs uncontrollably when you mention buying a leather jacket and a helmet with flames on it.

When you buy a motorcycle you do not ask questions.
When you buy a moped you ask your wife how fast she's comfortable with you going on said moped.

When you buy a motorcycle you pity any animal that gets in your path.
When you buy a moped you worry that any animal might cause you to flip, then laugh as it continues across the road.

When you buy a motorcycle people hear you coming from a mile away.
When you buy a moped people wonder what that buzzing noise is until they hear you honking your horn that is reminiscent of a clown horn.

When you buy a motorcycle and you see other motorcycles on the road you give the rider that tough-guy nod.
When you buy a moped and you see other mopeds on the road, you think twice about waving so that they don't swerve into oncoming traffic.

When you buy a motorcycle you travel in packs of other rough-looking riders.
When you buy a moped you travel alone...so very alone.

This is me with my biker babe.

My wife refuses to buy me a leather jacket and she's been hiding my flame-filled helmet. When I told her that I noticed women pointing at me as I rode by, she told me it wasn't for the reasons that I thought it was. She may be right.

I'm a dork!

Don't be fooled by the beautiful girl that was begging for a ride. All 3 of my children think this is the coolest moped ever. What they don't get is that it is still...a moped. Their ignorance of this fact is evidenced everytime we see a group of motorcyclists go by. My oldest daughter screams with excitement, 'You should join them, Daddy!' Since I have no desire to be mocked, I simply decline.

Just trust me when I say that I have not fallen short in some mid-life crisis.
I plan on living well into my hundreds, so this could hardly be called my mid-life crisis. Perhaps this was my 1/3 of the way speed bump. But...

I think I messed it up. I've messed plenty of stuff up before, but I never would have figured I would have messed this up. I've watched plenty of people go through this, so I thought I had it figured out.

Either way you look at it, it's not a crisis. That is, as long as I avoid eye-contact with motorcyclists and running into any large squirrels.
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