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For Whom the Bell Tolls

Sitting at breakfast the other day, my oldest two children had finished eating and were playing downstairs before school. My wife, youngest daughter and I sat at the table finishing our breakfast. Suddenly we heard a bell ringing from downstairs. My youngest responded that it was the signal for all the kids to come to the clubhouse. She quickly asked to be excused to join her siblings.

It was as if Detective Gordon had just shone the Bat Signal.

How is that I have overestimated my ability as a parent? I don't get that kind of response when I call for all 3 children. How does my 10-year old command that kind of response? What does she offer them?

Do the younger kids want candy? I have candy. Is it money? I give them an allowance.

I know this is not all that different from when I talk to teenagers about decisions they make and how they seem to dismiss my sage wisdom. Weeks later I'll hear them telling a friend thanks for changing their life by offering advice that was, you guessed it, exactly what I said.

Is this something to be concerned about? Only if you want all the glory. The fact is children, teens included, are influenced by their parents greatly, but we may never get the credit we crave. In the end, we may have to settle for knowing our kids can recognize when they're being summoned and hope they know when to answer and when to just let the bell keep ringing.

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