Monday, August 22, 2016

Born to Be Together

I couldn't believe it, even as it was happening. We bounced a rubber ball against a bell for an hour.

Before you scoff, I believe you've been there yourself. Maybe it was before Netflix was a thing, and there were no Olympics to watch. Perhaps you were bored beyond belief. But all of the sudden you found yourself doing something that should be simple over and over again. Add a twist, and you suddenly find yourself challenged to do something admittedly less than spectacular.

I doubt Whaley Ball will ever find its' way into the Olympics. (The game is named after the person at camp whose memorial bell we were using to play the game. Yes, we played on a memorial bell.) I also don't see myself training to get better. But on that last night at camp, teens and leaders worked together to bounce a small rubber ball against a bell.

How was this challenging? We couldn't let the ball drop to the ground. And we had to throw the ball again while the sound of the bell still rung.

Soon 15 people were unified to go completely around the circle. We spanned a few decades in age, but in that moment, age didn't matter. We were each invested and one of us wanted to be the person that kept us all from failure.

On that night, I chalked up the entertainment value to tired leaders and campers after a long week at camp. Only the craving of ice cream tore us away from this activity. Otherwise, we might still be playing.

Now that I've had time to consider it more, I think I know why we all were so invested. There was a challenge to be overcome (bounce the ball to everyone at least once without the ball being dropped). It was cooperative. It was team. It was engaging.

It was harder than it looked and our ultimate success depended on everyone doing their part.

Does that sound similar to anything you're involved in? A sports team? A business? A church? A ministry? A family? None of these are successful in isolation. For even those who compete in solo sporting events work with a trainer.

Every area of my life depends on someone else. And the success of any of it depends on Someone, who initially defined solitude as not good. (Genesis 2:18)

So look around. Who are you depending on? Who is depending on you? Perhaps it's time to lift your head up, Maybe someone around you needs encouragement. Forgiveness may need to be offered...and accepted.

Stop thinking just about yourself. We were born to be together.

Monday, August 15, 2016

A Word of Encouragement to Parents of Teens

There's something that I have never fully come to grips with in youth ministry. It's how there don't seem to be enough opportunities to eat pizza.

Just kidding.

It's parents. Sort of.... Let me explain.

When I was a teenager, I was in church whenever the doors were open. Actually, my parents were such sticklers for time management, that I was often there even when the doors were not yet opened, because we would beat the pastor there.

Eventually, my parents received keys to the church. Now, instead of simply waiting for others, we could be useful and set up chairs or tables for whatever event was about to happen. Thanks mom and dad!

Now, don't get me wrong. I wasn't rebelling against anybody and not wanting to go to church. I had friends there and I liked my youth pastor and I wanted to be there, generally speaking. But I also knew that it didn't really matter what I wanted  to do. Unless I was sick, I would be in church.

Fast forward a couple of decades and I am now the youth pastor. And as cool as all my teens obviously find me, they still find reasons to miss church activities. On occasion, I've checked in with parents to find out what's going on.

Please understand, from this point forward, any resemblance between what I am writing and any conversations I may have had with you as a parent is purely coincidental. Any names have been changed to protect the guilty and all that....

When I have asked parents what I can do to attract their teens back to youth group (or sometimes Sunday morning services) I'm often met with one of the following;


  • I told them they should go.
  • They were sleeping when I left.
  • He knows we want him to be an active part.
  • Is that something you do every Sunday?
If you're still reading and not feeling judged, let me offer a couple pieces of advice wisdom encouragement.

1. They still need you to parent.

Imagine any response you would have for your teen not being in church. Now imagine using that reason when they were a baby. Or a 5-year old. It wouldn't happen. 

We don't leave decisions like this to little children because it's not their role. If it were, my wife and I, even in ministry, might not have had our kids with us ever in church. 

Every parenting book teaches that kids need boundaries. When our kids were young, we kept regular meal times, precise bedtimes, and had rituals for almost every part of every day. As they got older, we became a bit less rigid, but we are still filled with routines. 

2. Your role as parent comes with an expectation.

It's not an expectation from your teens. It's not the comparison game from other parents and it's not even the perceptions of any youth pastor. 

It's an expectation from God. 

18 Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.19 Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 20 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates,21 so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth. ~Deuteronomy 11:18-21
If you believe in God and have a relationship with Him that means anything at all to you, then pass along the importance to your children.

Because it's important.
Because it's commanded.
Because it comes with a promise.

Start children off on the way they should go,
and even when they are old they will not turn from it. ~Proverbs 22:6

Thursday, August 11, 2016

The Atonement of God



The Atonement of God; Building Your Theology on a Crucivision of God is the latest book I have read. Written by J.D. Myers, it is about a new way to view the crucifixion of Christ, which Myers argues is actually a very old way to view things.

Starting out by arguing why the Penal Substitution theory is incomplete, Myers presents to us the Nonviolent view of atonement. For the sake of space here, I will drastically over simplify things this way; the nonviolent view of atonement says that God did not will Jesus to the cross, but we humans did. God then used the sacrifice to defeat sin and death, but apparently this was not necessary for forgiveness, since God had already given us that.

The theory is needed, of course, to help us make sense of a God who is love but also demands justice. At least, this is what J.D. Myers argues.  The book is set up with alternative views of the atonement, with some discussions, some very important discussions, left out, ostensibly for other books to be written at later times.

Some of his arguments seem to be summed up as 'I like this theory over that interpretation, so it must be correct.'

In discussing the wrath of God, a problematic notion to the nonviolent view of the atonement, he theorizes Paul using a technique of writing that uses a second voice in the writing for Paul to argue against. While Paul does indeed use this technique in some very obvious ways; for instance, when he says things like, 'some could say' or 'it has been said', J.D. Myers seems to lump any difficult verse into the mouth of the fictional person Paul is arguing against.

It is a dangerous game, especially when discussing foundational truths in scripture, to argue that all the difficult verses for us to understand are simply straw men to be knocked down.

I would have preferred, in a book discussing scripture, to see more verses printed out and parsed, than to simply have verses listed as backing up the authors theories.

Much liberty is taken in coming up with what certain Biblical stories meant and what verses actually mean. When all of those liberties grate against traditional views of the Bible, as well as a plain reading of scripture, I start to grow very concerned about what I am reading. This, of course, is not a bad thing in itself, as we should always be thoughtful Christians, knowing what we believe and why we believe it.

This book does get one very big truth correct. What we believe will impact how we live.

I was given this book by my friends at SpeakEasy. They give me books and ask that I review. If you like to see more information about this book, check out the links below.

Book site: RedeemingGod.com
Reviews and Excerpts from The Atonement of God
The Atonement of God on Facebook
Jeremy Myers on Twitter
The Atonement of God on Amazon: http://amzn.to/1ThcG43


#SpeakeasyTheAtonementofGod

Monday, August 8, 2016

Is That a 3-Point Sermon My Kids Hear?

I turned 40 over a year ago. I'll give you a moment to process that. I know you're not supposed to ask a youth pastor how old he is, but I offered.

Why is that significant? Except for the increasing pain in my knees, it's not. Really. I think I handled turning 40 better than I did turning 30. Don't ask me why. The best I can venture is that by the time I reached 40, I understood I was viewed as older by the teens I work with and I simply stopped caring what other people thought.

I feel good. Honestly. The worst part is increasing the exercise to compensate for the amount of cookies I eat. One might wonder why I don't just eat less cookies, but I don't really have time for people who ask questions like that.

Here is what has changed. I now have 2 of my own children who are part of my youth ministry. So when other teens look at me and marvel that I'm old enough to be their dad, they're not wrong. In fact, I'm older than some of their parents.

One might assume that when you double as parent and youth pastor, your teenage kids must love you, help you invent new games and your sides all hurt from all the laughter that is had.

You might also assume that having family devotions are automatic and easy. But you would be assuming way too much.

Do you know those teachable moments that all the great parenting advice authors have told you to look for with your kids? I do. I've even encouraged other parents to take advantage of those moments, only to have those parents come back and tell me their kids saw it as a lecture. They have assumed my family would be different.

It's not. My kids don't refer to those teachable moments as lectures, however. They refer to them as sermons. Pastor's got to preach! I get the same eye rolls, the same long sighs and the same exasperated and held out 'Daaaaad!'

Sermons or lectures. I'm sure my kids find themselves humorous when referring to my shared wisdom as sermons when collectively whining with their friends. And that's fine.

But what is a parent to do?

1. Look for the teachable moments anyway.

That's right. Do it anyway. Bore them if you have to, but don't let the moments pass by when your child can learn something from you. You didn't let them run with knives (or in traffic) when they were younger, despite how much they tried to buck the system.

You kept regular bedtimes and forced them to go to school and (hopefully) church and made them eat their vegetables. They very likely whined about all of it at some point. So why did you do it? Because you're a parent. And God has tasked parents with passing on wisdom from one generation to the next.

So, don't stop now. I'm not saying you should prepare a 3-point sermon teachable moment every single day, but don't let the moments pass you by when you can share truth.

2. Don't assume the eye rolls mean they aren't listening.

The eye rolls, the sighs, the crossed arms...it's all part of their job, since, as teenagers, they clearly know better than you. Hopefully you understand sarcasm.

I'm not saying you should simply accept disrespectful attitudes, but don't let their mannerisms keep you from fulfilling your role. Assume they are listening and be pleasantly surprised when they reflect that is something they say, or in a correct action they live out.

Besides, as I tell my kids all the time; we do the right thing for the right reason. Parenting is our role. Pretending to be above it all is theirs.

I'd offer a third point, but I wouldn't want you to think of this as a sermon.

Monday, August 1, 2016

My Drivel

Hey Rick, remember when you used to post more than just book reviews to your blog?

Ummm....yeah?

So, what about that? Are you ever going to do that again?

What?

Are you ever going to blog an original thought again, or are you simply going to review other people's thoughts for us?

When you put it like that, it sounds kind of harsh.

It's the voices in your head, so you should be used to that by now.

Good point.

So, stop avoiding the question. Are we ever going to see you blog regularly again?

This question leaves so much room for disappointment. In my head, there are 3 groups out there.

  1. Those who fear I'll say no and be faced with a blogosphere without my drivel.
  2. Those who are scared I'll say yes and be faced with reading more of my drivel. 
  3. Those who wonder if a 'yes' from me is only temporary.
So I am going to answer with a maybe. I intend to. I have some more thoughts to inflict on share with the world. But if you're looking for a daily thought, I'll tell you as I tell my kids all summer. I have this thing called a full time job

I usually say that when I've come home for lunch and am ready to go back when one of them, usually still with bed head, asks where I'm going. 

So be on the lookout for some new thoughts. But don't expect that I've become any more significant than the last time I was regularly blogging. 

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

The Bride(zilla) of Christ



Have you ever heard someone say, "I really like Jesus. It's His bride I can't stand?"

Yeah, I used to laugh at that. Because it's ironic, right? Loving Jesus, yet disliking the people He has called us to love, which, by the way, includes you.

Then someone asked me to consider saying that to any other man on the planet. Go ahead. Walk up to any guy, tell him how much you like him, then tell him you can't stand his bride. Better yet, try doing this on someone's wedding day.

I can't imagine it goes over well. I also can't imagine any scenario where Jesus simply shrugs off the comment and laughs.

So when I saw the title of this book by Ted Kluck and Ronnie Martin, I was hooked fast. The subtitle helped; What To Do When God's People Hurt God's People.

Like anyone else who has been a part of a church for longer than 18 verses of I Surrender All, I have seen God's people hurt God's people. Ted and Ronnie have been a part of the church for a long time and write about their experiences and what they have learned.

But if you come looking for a juicy tell-all, just keep looking. They share from their own personal stories, but this is not National Enquirer. They leave the sordid details out and paint with a broad stroke.

Why? Because hearing more bad examples of church people isn't helping anyone. You can confirm that in the comments section of almost any page on the internet. What Ted and Ronnie offer is a series of reminders that will help us as we attempt to remain focused on what brought us all together in the first place.

Here is one of my favorite reminders;

Church is messy.
I wish I didn't have to say it that way, but since most of us default into believing church shouldn't be messy and then are shocked when it is, I feel the most appropriate thing to do is call it what it is and discuss how God desires us to live out our call in it.

I'd recommend this book for anyone needing such a reminder.


I did receive this book from my good friends at Blogging for Books. They give me books and ask that I review them.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Parenting Without Regret



Have you ever felt like you were falling short of all your parenting goals? Ever recalled all your statements of what kind of a parent you'd be before you had kids, and then realized you were striking out on all of them? Ever looked around at other parents and wondered what kind of voodoo magic they were using to create such normal human beings who contributed to society?

Are you a parent? If your answer is yes to this last question, then it has, in your most honest moments, been yes to all the previous questions as well.

Parenting Without Regret: Raising Kids with Purpose, Not Perfection is a book by Jimmy and Laura Seibert, which may or may not help. I know, I know, that doesn't sound like a glowing endorsement of a book. But hear me out.

I liked this book. I think you should read this book. If other books read more like practical how-to's, then this was more like a book on theory, which is very important. We all need parenting hacks, but we also need to stop and consider what our habits and outlook on life are producing in the next generation.

Jimmy and Laura take turns telling us about successes and failures from their own experiences, letting us inside all of their own doubts, and who hasn't had those? Yet they talk about the downsides of parenting with as much openness as the victories they have had. One can get the sense that you're gleaning wisdom from parenting experts who would never consider judging you, because they've been there.

They take you on their journey all the way from finding your purpose to helping your children find theirs, defining moments along the way and everything in between. It's a simple read with some hard truth, both reasons you should add this to your stack.

I received this book from my good friends at Speak Easy. They ask me to provide a review but don't tell me what to say.

Book site: parentingwithoutregret.info

Interview with Jimmy and Laura Seibert on Parenting without Regret

Parenting without Regret on Amazon

#SpeakeasyParentingNoRegrets