I haven't had that sort of attention in about 9 years. Sometimes, in the wee hours of the night, after our personal collection of little needy people are asleep, we sometimes ask ourselves, "Selves, what did we do with all our time before children?" I must be honest and say this lack of attention is somewhat painful and hard to bear.
I don't wish to complain when so many wish they could have children. I could segue and talk about how incredibly busy I am with ministry right now. But that also seems foolish, given how many would like to be busy with a job. But this is the life I have chosen, although at times it feels like it has chosen me. And it too is sometimes painful.
I know I'm not alone in this wondering about why life is the way it is. Bart Millard, from Mercyme, penned the following;
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there’ll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to praise You
Jesus bring the rain
That sounds like an open invitation to god to do whatever He wants with your life. Very dangerous. But isn't this what giving your life to God should look like? Shouldn't we be saying that what God wants trumps what we want? Again, it's dangerous, but who is to say that it's not better?
Pain often comes with change. But we often overlook the peaceful and easy times. Here are some more words to bring balance to our thoughts;
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.