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Bipolar Days

Shawn McDonald wrote a song called Have You Ever? Not only is the guitar incredible to listen to, the lyrics make me ponder. Here's one of my favorite lines.
Have you ever wanted to reach up and touch the sky?
Have you ever wanted to pack it up and say good-bye?

My problem is that I sometimes answer yes to both of those questions in the same day. I mean, one makes me think I can do it all. The other makes me feel like giving it all up. Why is this? I don't think I'm bipolar. Maybe I am. No, I'm definitely not. I suppose I could go back and forth on that one.

I talked with a friend today about how we deal with our limitations. He sounded a lot like the Apostle Paul when he said that he wanted to break free from sin and yet, he still succumbed to it. I know how he feels. I think we all do to an extent. But then he added that his struggles might not seem so bad if he could be sure there was some great point to it all. If he understood that his suffering was going to produce something worthwhile, then he would just suck it up and deal with it.

I didn't know what to say at that point. After all, I feel the same way a lot. If I were curing cancer or leading millions, then my tight schedule and demands from peers would seem like part of the process. But I'm not curing cancer. I'm avoiding it. And I lead dozens...when they are agreeable to following. But if I had the conversation back, I would answer with this.

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:3-5.

Today, I want to reach the sky. Tomorrow, who knows? But here's hoping, because that's all I've got.

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