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Longsuffering & Suffering Through Long Reads

Why is the book of Job so long? Seriously.

This is the book of Job in short form.

God was chillin', ya know, doing what He does, when the angels and Satan show up.

God: Check out Job. I like him so much better than you, Satan.
Satan: You know I could put the hurt on him and he'd hate you.
God: Try it.

The Satan beat down on everything Job had, killing his animals and children.

Job's Wife: Your life really stinks.
Job: I love God. I'll deal with it.
Job's Wife: Whatevs.

Back up in Heaven, God and Satan raise the stakes.

Satan: I've got this new beta-test of a disease I'd like to test out on Job.
God: You're so full of yourself. Go for it, but prepare to be owned.

So Satan makes Job actually regret the day he was born.

Job: I regret the day I was born.
Friend 1: You probably did something wrong to deserve this.
Job: No I didn't.
Friend 2: I'm with Friend 1. I think you're a sinner.
Job: I'm telling you, I didn't do anything wrong.
Friend 3: Sinner.
Job: Stop saying that.

Then a 4th friend stops in to say hi and tells all 3 friends that they're whack. Then God shows up and, instead of answering any questions, asks a whole bunch of better questions, putting Job and his friends in their place. After Job agrees, God restores Job's previous wealth and adds even more.

Job: Thanks God. I knew I could count on you.
God: You're welcome.
Job: There's just one thing I'd like to know. Why did you even mention my name to Satan?
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