I want to tell you a little bit about my first girlfriend. (This was before I met Jen.) I was head over heels for this girl. Because I was so ‘in love’, I was willing to do anything to be able to date her and tell people that I was dating her. So she had some standards that she wanted me to reach for if we were going to be a couple.
I really wanted to date her, so I said, ‘Lay it on me, babe.’ (Those are the kinds of things I say to woo damsels...works every time.)
She wanted us to talk every day, at least on the phone.
She wanted us to go out on a date, at least once a week.
She had some rules for how I should act, both when we were together and when we weren’t. After all, she said, ‘I’ was now an ‘us’ and we should consider how people view us, even when we weren’t together.
I really wanted to date this girl. So I agreed to her standards. How did I do?
The first rule was that we talk every day, at least on the phone. Well, this was before cell phones, so this was kind of difficult. It meant I had to use the phone in our living room, where my whole family was always at. Sometimes I didn’t want to talk on the phone. I didn’t always want to sound mushy, like new couples do. When I did call, sometimes it was hard to pay attention to what my girlfriend was talking about because there was something good on the TV. So, when we did talk, I was often distracted. To be honest, I did not meet her standard on this rule.
The second rule was that we would go out on a date, at least once a week. Well, this was before ‘this guy’ had a job, so money was scarce. My dad didn’t exactly see the need to fund my ideas of classy dates. But I didn’t want to make my girlfriend think I wasn’t willing to class it up, so I would often tell her what I wanted to do. When I did have some money, I was sometimes busy or tired from other stuff that week. To put it simply, I did not meet her standard on this rule.
The third rule was more like, ‘rules’. She wanted me to think about ‘us’ and who I was representing. So, basically, I was supposed to rethink everything I said and everything I did, and make sure it was something that would make her look good. This was hard. I had habits. I had friends. They didn’t always care what my girlfriend thought about what we said or did. And quite frankly, my girlfriend had lots of ideas about how I should be acting. I don’t even remember all the things she said. Sometimes I would tune her out while she was talking on and on about us. It was just too much, and obviously, I did not meet her standard on this rule.
Clearly, we didn’t last long. I’m not really sure why. Other than the fact that I broke all the rules and I just made her up.
If we treated our girlfriend like we treat Jesus, we wouldn't have a girlfriend very long.