I think you’re going to be glad you read my blog today. I think I’ve stumbled upon a great new idea that will revolutionize all your relationships. Which is to say, I’m going to attempt to tell you in a new way the old truth that has always been intended to be a part of healthy relationships.
So let’s clearly define the problem.
(Takes deep breath and attempts informercial announcer voice)
Do you find yourself struggling with people? Have you been up late at night wondering what’s going on in their heads? Does the thought of living in this mysterious middle ground of not knowing their thoughts yet not being able to help others leave you feeling distressed?
Is there anything that can be done? Yes, there is! From the Maker of relationships comes this revolutionary new product called Discourse. Yessss, Discourse has been found to remedy confusion, misunderstanding, breakdowns in communication, hurt feelings, lack of emotional connection, and so much more.
Here’s the best part. Discourse, when applied correctly, has been proven 100% effective! Broken relationships? Discourse! Confused about social cues? Discourse! Do you need to know more about something that someone else knows? Discourse, Discourse, Discourse!
Ok, But What Are We Really Talking About?
I get it. Infomercials tend to be over the top in their selling strategies. Do I believe discourse is 100% effective? Yes...and no.
For Christians who have the Holy Spirit living in them, I believe there is no obstacle that has to remain in between us. But it’s hard work and if both parties aren’t willing to put in the work, then no amount of conversation...I mean, discourse, is going to help.
When Discourse Doesn’t Work
I love the story in Acts when Paul visited Athens. The city was full of idols, even to the point of having an altar set aside to an unknown god. Honestly, there was an impressive level of commitment being displayed by the Athenians to make sure that they didn’t miss anything.
Nobody:
Athenians: Hey, just in case, let’s make an idol where we don’t even know who we’re worshipping.
But there was a group of philosophers who spent their time “talking about and listening to the latest ideas.” (Acts 17:21) This was discourse. They talked. They listened. And while I don’t recommend adding idols to your life, they were willing to talk.
Paul shares the truth about Jesus and later we read that some of the Athenians rejected the idea of resurrection of the dead. But why were they able to share discourse where so many of us are not?
The Athenians didn’t believe they were God. Most of what we are willing to accept are facts we already believe to be true. Let’s be real, most of what gets shared on social media isn’t because we read something life-altering and decided to spread the good word. (Although, if you feel that way about this blog, please, be my guest and pass it along.)
We share something stated in a way that says what we want to convey in a way that is better than we could have said it. Or we share what we’ve already said in order to show everyone that people agree with us.
We believe we’re already right.
When Does It Work?
I have found that discourse works best over time. I wish I had more time to write about my theories of time, but you’d likely skim the last section of this blog. Because you don’t have the time.
But that’s just it. True discourse, the kind where we share ideas and I change my mind and you change your mind, takes time. Effective conversations will often end in compromise, not because we both agreed to both be unhappy, but because we both recognized there were aspects of what we believed that were incorrect.
Again, if we don’t believe we are God, either in theory or in practice, we will be willing to accept correction. But we can’t hear that if we’re constantly formulating our arguments while the other person is talking.
Discourse. Talk to your doctor today and see if discourse is right for you.
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