Skip to main content

My Wife Kicks Like Chuck Norris

Relationships are a very odd thing when you stop and consider them. We all have these relationships. We need them, depend on them, sometimes use them, but all of us are driven crazy by some or all of them.

I think that, though she loves me, I am that crazy relationship for my wife. Consider a ‘normal’ conversation between us.

Me: I need your help getting the kids bathed and put down for bed.
Her: I’m coming, just give me a second.
Me: I won’t be able to do this on my own.
Her: I know. I’m finishing the dishes, massa.
Me: Can you pleeeeease help me?
Her: Do you hear me when I’m talking?

Then, in one swift motion, she somehow un-twirls a kid from their bath towel straight into their pajamas, managing to send them spinning directly towards their bed. With her other arm she grabs another kid by his ankles, shaking the clothes off of him and dropping him in the bathtub. With her left foot she pins another kid in a corner so she can wait her turn. With her free leg, she roundhouse kicks me out of the way.

I think this is how God may have felt, at times, about Moses. I know, I know, Moses is a friend of God, but if you recall the burning bush episode, Mo-Mo had a lot of questions for God. Then in Exodus 33, we see God and Moses having a convo like a husband and wife. Moses, the wife, asking repeatedly exhausting questions, 'Are you going to go with us?' I don't want to go if you're not going to go with us?’ and God reminding Moses how He has been there all along.

We may have relationships that cause us to stop and question. But our relationship with God should not be one of them. After all, He has promised to always be with us. He has given us a clear direction and The Cause to fight for.

Maybe we need to stop asking questions, stop asking for signs, just stop talking and asking and GO! Before long, God may just roundhouse kick us to the head.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Accountable

I recently officiated a wedding. The ceremony was simple, lovely, and ended with another couple professing to keep the covenant of marriage. But it all started with a clarification...from me. At our first premarital counseling session, as I have done with every couple I have agreed to marry, I clarified a couple of matters. First, I officiate Christian weddings, where both spouses-to-be are professing Christians. I firmly believe that marriage is difficult enough, without adding disagreements about God into the mix. Second, as a minister of Jesus Christ, I believe the pastor’s role in a wedding is to represent the blessing of God on that union. So we have several sessions of premarital counseling where we discuss married life. It’s not that I have this imaginary card in my head, with a picture of me on the front and my stats on the back. (You know, like a baseball card.) Ok, I do picture cards. Pastor cards! And being a competitive guy, I want my stats to look good. The number of coupl
Post a Comment
Read more

Patience

I am more than halfway through the last year of dropping one of my children off at school. It's my eighth grade daughter, for anyone keeping track of my family.  See, next year she will be at the high school, and her brother will drive her. He says that it's not cool for seniors to drive their freshman sister to school, but I bet it's cooler than being dropped off by your mom in a minivan.  So rather than groan about this daily responsibility, I've been reminiscing about what the drop-off line used to look like, way back in elementary school. Once our children were about halfway through their elementary years, the drop-off line became a test of patience.  Do you know which group you do not want to get caught behind in the parent drop-off line at an elementary school? The kindergartners. These little ones are barely able to walk, but now we put them in the high-pressure situation of trying to unbuckle their seat-belt, grab their backpack (which might be as tall as they a
Post a Comment
Read more

Jury Duty

I was recently summoned to jury duty. I know, groan. Except I didn't. I had never experienced it before and was curious to see what it was like.   When the day to report arrives, they separate you into groups, asking various questions to decide if you will be selected to serve. Do you know the accused? Do you have conflicts that would keep you from serving? Can you stay focused?  I wanted to answer well, if only because my kids kept wishing me luck the day before, telling me they hoped I made the team. After all, who wants to be rejected? It occurred to me that there are things you probably shouldn’t say right away if you’re wanting to serve on a jury. I know, I know, people don’t typically want to serve on a jury. But that list didn’t seem nearly as humorous to me. Here are the things you probably shouldn’t say if you want to be selected for jury. I hold myself in contempt. You can’t handle the truth. We find the defendant guilty. I believe the judge looks pretty in his robe. I’d
Post a Comment
Read more