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Just Kill Me Now

There is an episode of Seinfeld where the character of George Costanza is trying to leave a good impression on people, rather than his normal poor impression. So he gets the idea that he's been staying too long at meetings and gatherings. So now, once he has said or done something that makes people laugh or nod, he'll just leave. It gets funny when he leaves meetings as they have just barely begun and he has his boss thinking he's better than he actually is.
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It's about leaving people wanting more. Leaving on top is admirable. Maybe that's what Moses was thinking when he asked God to kill him.

Wait, what?

In Numbers 11:15, Moses asks to be killed, if he has found favor in God's eyes. That is an unusual request to make of someone who likes you. Granted, he is smack dab in the middle of yet another whine-fest with God's people. This time it's because they want meat and are actually crying out loud about the miracle bread God drops from the sky.

So Moses starts crying himself. He's asking God to remind him why he was chosen to lead this crowd. And before he gets an answer, he asks out. But his reasoning was so that he would not come to ruin. It's as if he realizes how great his relationship with God is that he doesn't want to ruin it.

We may not be leading a million people, but it's the same for us. If we want the God-life, we must die. We must be crucified in Christ. Left to our own we will be ruined. Yet we're not in a situation to walk off with God on a high note. If we allow God to live through us, then we don't have to worry about coming to ruin.

So God, if I have found favor in your eyes, kill anything in me that doesn't reflect You.

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