Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Wisconsin: Land of Opulence

Recently my family traveled to Wisconsin. We'd never been. Now many people know this state as a place to find great cheese. But I am here to reveal the truth.

Wisconsin is the land of opulence!

We went to Wisconsin Dells, home of many great resorts and land of great water parks. It was a good thing that the slides were big and some distance from one another. Because I needed to walk to work off the buffets that I continually found myself at.

But buffets can be found anywhere. The overindulgence continued everywhere, including this hot tub, able to fit 5 normal sized children. But just as the water spilled out of this tub, the opulence of Wisconsin spilled over into the next state, Minnesota.

Just below, at the Mall of America, you can see Mr. SquarePants welcoming us to the famed indoor theme park. If you have not been, you may have been like me and assumed it was one roller coaster. That would be impressive enough, but nay my good friend. There were 36!

The craziness continued just by walking around the mall. Going into every store of the Mall of America would cause you to lose 10 years of your life, plus your life savings. But we managed to lose some time and money in the Lego Store. The picture above may not tell you enough, but that is a helicopter made entirely of Legos. The picture below reveals a wall of different Lego pieces. The people at the bottom were giant Norsemen from the North, showing you a freakishly tall wall of Legos.  

Perhaps the scariest of all was entering the American Doll store. Keep in mind these dolls sell for $100 each. On top of that, know that they come with more accessories than I have in real life. Then be shocked when I tell you that you're looking at a shop within the store where you can pay for your American Girl doll to have a hairstyle done, for $15. 

When I was a kid, my sisters combed their own doll's hair. 

To be sure, my disgust can only go so far, as I turned a few corners and found the greatest store in the world. You know what they say, 'when in Rome.' So I may have had a frosted brownie topped with a chocolate chip cookie. 

So disgusting.
So opulent.
So over the top.
So delicious!

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