Friday, May 17, 2013

Do You Have Any Idea What Cool Looks Like?


The weather is warming up again. And perhaps it is the thick layers of ice that cause me to forget, but it's this time of year that makes me ready to ride again. To feel the sweet freedom that can only be felt at 25-35 mph while driving my hog. My 50cc's of raw power. 
You might ask why. I'm here to answer your questions.

Why a scooter? 

Good question. After all, until recently I had two other vehicle choices. But neither of them get 140 miles to the gallon. Tell me again about your smart cars and your Nissan Versa, neither one of which do you look better in. Sure, there are high-end motorized wheelchairs that might pass me from time to time, but where will they be when the battery runs out?  

Why a helmet?

Because I don't listen to my wife about a good many things. But she's right about this. Even at 30 mph, bad things can happen. A car travelling faster could hit me. A random deer could come out at the deer crossing sign. 

Because when I die, I want it to be so fantastic that people come up to my grieving wife and say, "Wow, that guy knew how to make an exit!" Any eulogy that includes mention of a scooter will only elicit snickers from the crowd, not awe. 

Why a helmet with flames?

Because if you're going to wear a helmet while riding a scooter, you may as well have a sense of humor about yourself.

Why don't you look at other drivers?

I am on a scooter. I know what they assume. I don't need that kind of judgment.

Do you wave at other scooter drivers?

For several reasons, no. First of all, two hands on the handles, sir. We are travelling at high speeds.

Secondly, the last time I looked in the eyes of a fellow scooter rider, he smirked. I couldn't tell if he was smirking because he knew how much gas we were saving. Or because he realized there was another adult male driving around one of these tickets to freedom, as long as freedom didn't go too fast. 

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