You don't know me. I'm okay with that. This is my search for insignificance.
Friday, May 10, 2013
This is Going to Take Some Work
I have a confession.
I don't always practice what I preach. That's kind of awkward for me to say, being a preacher and all. I mean, we say that to everyone, even people who are not, in fact, preachers. But me?
I have a license. It's that dangerous. Yeah, I know...you're kind of in awe right now. Not everyone is cut out to wear the cloth. Of course, I don't actually have any special cloth or holy underwear or anything like that.
But I am stalling from actually finishing this confession. After all, if I leave it vague, you might think I rolled my eyes when someone cut me off in traffic. You probably struggle not to roll your eyes too, but not me. I have that well under control. In fact, I never roll my eyes when stupid, incompetent, meat-heads..... I've digressed again.
I don't always practice what I preach. On this blog, I say, over and again and in many different ways, that life is not about me. In fact, I encourage you in your unawareness of who I am. I say this is my search for insignificance.
But the truth is I say it regularly for a reason. I kind of, sort of, deep down (but on the surface), want to say this to large numbers of people. I'm not complaining about the amount of people who are currently reading. But when you believe you have an important message, you intrinsically want everyone to hear it.
That in itself, is not really a bad thing. As long, of course, as the focus stays on that which is significant. But here is where I stumbled yesterday.
I didn't have a post to schedule. And it's been the sort of week where I didn't have any energy to think up something to say. No special rants against inane happenstance, no book reviews, no message from the Lord. But what i thought was....
What if people don't notice me for a day?
Yeah, what if? What if the world kept spinning despite any lack of my sarcastic commentary on life? What if no silliness form my family were reported in this 24-hour news cycle? What if people succumbed to reading one of the million other bloggers out there, all offering wit and wisdom?
What if I got over myself? What if I searched deeper for insignificance? It appears I have a lot longer way to go.