Wednesday, January 30, 2013

A New Reason to Dislike Country Music

One night I mentioned to my kids that a song had 'twang'. My son asked what 'twang' was. I decided to introduce him to country music by the decade. (In case you're wondering, country music is not something that's listened to in our house.)

To Spotify I went and looked up country music of the 70's and 80's. I figured my children needed to develop a disdain for the genre like I had, only quicker and with less pain.

By the time we listened to a few faves by the Oakridge Boys and Alabama, I had almost lost them entirely. Garth Brooks did nothing to bring them back. But as we progressed to more current hits, I almost won them back with Rascall Flatts' hit Life is a Highway from the movie Cars

Alas the kids soon lost all interest in my ad hoc country music lesson. But then I started looking for current artists and songs and was floored by the craziness of the song titles. At first it was just an attempt to annoy my wife with more twang, but then it became a study in stupidity.

Toby Keith is the #1 perpetrator that I found. Being that I am not a country music fan, he could be the only one. What do I know? It's kind of like judging all of China based on the plastic toys they make for Happy Meals, but here I go anyways.

Red Solo Cup
Beer for My Horses
Beer with Jesus
Beers Ago

The amusement of measuring time in beers, rather than in the sober tradition of year, notwithstanding, why do all his songs have to be about beer? I'm assuming the contents of his red solo cup. 

I realize I could be causing some country music fans out there to think I am a mean-spirited jerk. But slow down. It's not you. I think you're just fine, most likely intelligent, based on the blogs you choose to read. It's just your music that's stupid. 

I did find a hidden gem by Trace Adkins when I found Honky Tonk Badonkadonk. My son asked what a badonkadonk was. 

Thank you country music, for giving me yet another reason to detest you.

Your turn. What music of mine would you like to dis? 

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